What's in a name
"It's just for the aesthetics", I told myself while jumping through 30 bureaucratic hoops to change my legal name. "It has nothing to do with gender", I insisted while changing…
In my cocoon
CW: Gender dysphoria. Finally deciding to legally change my name has been a much more complicated thing to process than I expected. It felt like the culmination of a journey (and in some ways it cert…
History is written by the winners
It's strange watching in real time as 10 years of the story of my life is completely rewritten by someone. From flawed, messy, and human with many moments of joy and beauty into something of unrel…
Seattle Public Library Main Branch
I love this place. That is all.…
Quiet brain
Like clockwork, on the two week mark. I can finally feel the progress of my healing brain. So much focus at work, energy left for my hobbies in the evening. And a deep sense of peace. Reveling in jus…
”Have you ever photographed a manufactured cloud?”
An innocent, if a bit strange conversation opener. It did not mean what I expected. I had thought this the question you ask before you inquire if someone wants to photograph you blowing a fat vape clo…
Nostalgia for a time you've never known
I've taken enough photos now over the last year and some change (and put them in front of the faces of anyone who would look) that people have started to ask questions. Understandable ones. "…
I'm split in half but that will have to do
It’s 11:30PM on the end of a night of a good day. I had my phone in a drawer all day. I stuck with my goals and made it through my first workday of this journey. And all the sudden, in the middle of…
Slowly, Then all at Once
"Dopamine detox", having been popularized by TikTok, is probably a term not to be taken seriously by most. Fair enough. But I did not come to it from TikTok – I came to it from desperation.…
Yearly Salmon Pilgrimage and Reflections
This week was time for my annual Cedar River pilgrimage. This is the third year now that I’ve made sure to head down there in October. The first time I ever did was on a total whim. It was nearly a ye…